I wrote this to give you some language as you think about how to approach your teen when it comes to marijuana. I shared this at a recent webinar on teens and weed and many parents asked for a copy of it. The tone we need to have with our teens is one that’s clear and firm yet realistic. We can’t control their behavior. The fact that they’ll break our rules doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have any. The more our teens feel loved and respected by us, the more they’ll want to comply. Ultimately, we want them to make safe decisions, not because they fear getting in trouble but because they want to be their best and reach their goals. Whether they smoke weed every day or have never touched the stuff, our kids are good and worthy of love. I hope you find some aspect of this helpful as you think how about how to talk to your teen.

A Love Letter To My Teen

To be clear, I don’t want you using drugs or alcohol at all until you’re 21 because your brain is still developing. Overtime, the effects of THC and alcohol on adolescents have way more downside than upside and will only get in the way of the goals you have for yourself.

While I really would like you to wait until your older before you drink or smoke, I also get that this might be wishful thinking and you may do it anyways. Perhaps you’re already doing it. That will ultimately be your choice.

I’ll enforce this rule in the house, because I can. If I find drugs, alcohol or paraphernalia here, I’ll get rid of it, even if it’s not yours.

If you do choose to drink or smoke, I’ll be sad, disappointed, and scared. But it doesn’t make you a bad kid and I will love you just as much. Please focus on being safe and doing the right thing for you.

Please don’t get in a car with someone intoxicated and call me anytime you need to. I will come get you and I won’t yell or lecture you. I’ll be glad you’re safe and did the right thing. We’ll have a conversation the next day and figure it out. If you’re willing to do that, I promise to work on being calmer and a better listener.

I love you always.